Drugs, Sex & Rock ‘n’ Roll….
…are unfortunately not the answer to living the best version of yourself, reaching self belief and ultimately the success you want and soooo deserve!
Cheap ploy? Sorry! Well it’s not the sexiest subject and I had to get your attention somehow! But what is it then?! I hear you cry?!
Openness, honesty, and transparency…. boring! Boring it may be, but truths, it is…
From as far back as I can remember I was taught that being honest was the best way to be…not lying, not fibbing, not hiding the truth and owning up to any mistakes that you made. So that, I reckon, was one of the earliest values that I gained and that’s what I did. I didn’t fully understand the reasons why, I just knew that it was what good and kind people did, and I wanted to be a good person and liked of course…
But something changed as I grew older… I learned that not everyone else was honest. People lied, cheated and were purposely deceptive. They hid who they really were or let you think they were something that they weren’t, were manipulative and verging on cruel. I also learned that being honest didn’t automatically make people understand or know that I was honest, kind, and good. People made assumptions based on what you looked like, before you opened your mouth, would blame you for wrong doings when there was no way humanly possible you were to blame or would use your honesty against you.
I began to question people, be wary of people, and not trust everyone. Furthermore, I observed people and refrained from getting involved, until I felt comfortable and at times, that meant, not at all. Not only that, but I built up a wall, so that those people could not take my honesty, openness, and transparency and use it for bad. Furthermore, I learned who I could open up to and who I couldn’t. Occasionally I’d be fooled; let my guard down to be hurt again. I vowed never to do it again and then did it, because it was part of me, was part of who I wanted to be, so I couldn’t deny it. I scalded myself for being too trusting…
Only by going through those experiences did I begin to realize, it wasn’t me who was wrong to be open, to be honest, to be myself. It was them for being cruel, uncaring, selfish, and devious. Those things were fine to be, that were instilled in me as values. They were good traits to have, and I shouldn’t have to dumb that down for anyone, but be selective about the company I chose, so that I didn’t need to build those walls to protect myself in the future….
From then on, I made an extra effort to be open and honest about who I was and didn’t suppress it for anyone. I’d hold my hands up if I’d made a mistake, I’d challenge other peoples’ dishonesty or deception, and my circle of friends became about quality and not quantity. When I teach or train, I’m honest about my knowledge and if I’m not sure or don’t know the answer to a question, I’ll say that I don’t and don’t try to fumble my way through it with a fake response. My enthusiasm shines through because I don’t have to pretend that I am passionate about what I am delivering. It is what I am. My honesty promotes trust and an environment where people feel they are valued and can ask those questions they first thought were silly. I am allowed to work in a completely transparent way, and all clients experience the same service as a result. There then is no confusion and everyone works to the same standard; everyone knows where they stand…
I seemed to be a magnet to random people just opening up to me, being truly honest with me, even if I’d only just met them or didn’t know them well. I never really understood why, until recently. My own value of being honest and open in turn bred trust, trust that people can confide in me, that I’ll listen without judgement. I also enjoy being honest and open! Showing vulnerability is such a human trait, yet we are discouraged to show it? Why? We are all vulnerable and have our own vulnerabilities, and sharing those does not show weakness. Quite the opposite. It shows our strength and creates a bond. Think about a bond you have with someone close… I put money on it, that bond was created because you shared a time of vulnerability (but that’s a topic for another blog)… Complete openness, honesty, and transparency….
Openness, honesty, and transparency; not only with others, but with ourselves about what we really want, what we really need and what we need to do to get there, will make the journey so much smoother, so much easier to steer through. If you think about times in your life when either yourself or someone close to you has not been these things, how has it ended? With someone getting hurt? Feeling manipulated? Deceived? People being angry that they’ve been tricked? On a bigger scale, more than an individual level; huge companies (no need to name and shame), that were trusted, have come tumbling down, businesses built on deceit, hiding a scandal, get found out, and the effects are a ripple of devastation.
What has this to do with positivity and self belief? You’re probably thinking? In my opinion, if the foundations of anything are strong, then nothing can shake them; you have a good chance of success with whatever you’re trying to build, and those three things are key. They promote positivity, trust with others and no matter what happens, your word, your integrity will never ever be questioned.
My Instagram has very much become a page about being open and honest about the journey that I am on, to reach self belief and daring myself to go for my dreams. Not acting as an expert, but as a learner of experiences and sharing how those experiences have shaped me and what I have taken from them.
This journey has challenged me to be truly open and honest with myself about what I really, really want! Not what I’ll be ok with, not with what I will settle with, what I really want! I suppose it starts with you… I mean, if you can’t be open, honest, and transparent with yourself, then how are you going to be able to reach that passion and dream? Living an honest life doesn’t only mean being honest with other people, it means being honest with yourself about what you really want to do and who you really want to be. You are then no longer working against something, you are working with it; riding the wave and using the energy that you’ve always had, and it becomes easier…
Until next time…
Serena x
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Social Media:@shebelieved.shecould.soshedid
