Motherhood can be one of the greatest experiences in a woman’s life, yet, people seem to forget that motherhood does not define a woman. Once pregnancy is announced, that woman is only ever associated with the term Mom. This definition that society has placed on her, makes her lose her own identity. This is a fault of society and its approach to women, but there are other reasons that women lose their identities.
Not Making Time for Hobbies
Being a mom means being responsible for another human being, or several human beings at that. Between watching them, driving them to school, soccer practice, friend’s houses, cleaning up after them, making food, and everything else that goes with it. This busy schedule can leave little time for yourself if you let it.
Hobbies are a part of our identities, even if they are a minor thing. But they give us something to do and create, a skill to hone. They are essential parts of who we are. Without hobbies, we lose ourselves to the mundane, everyday parts of life.
Not Creating or Maintaining Relationships
Do you remember your high school days? Early twenties? Hanging out with your best gal pals and having the time of your lives? The responsibilities of adulthood have put those party days to an end, but that doesn’t mean the relationships you created need to end as well. Friends are great opportunities to get out into the world and have fun. To remember that you are more than a mom.
Letting Your Kids Consume Your Life
You love your kids, they are a momentous part of your life, but they are not your entire life. I know there is a gasp somewhere at that statement. It does not make you a bad mom if your kids do not consume a 100% of your life. If you spend 100% of your time with them or worrying about them or doing things for your kids, you will lose yourself to them. Then what are you going to do when they leave the nest? Revolving your entire life around your kids is not healthy for yourself or them.
Stop Caring About The Way You Look
In no way am I saying you need to be vain and dress up for anyone but yourself. However, if you stop caring about how you look, it typically leads to self loathing. Let’s be honest here. We all want to look good. Whether it be having the best dress, or hair, makeup or losing weight. We all want to look our best. And there is nothing wrong with wanting to look good. It makes you feel good as well. Looking good is a great confidence booster. But once you stop caring about how you look, you’ll lose that confidence booster. Caring about how you look, is caring about yourself. A necessary part of life.
Feeling Like You’ve Lost Your Freedom
Bringing a new life into the world means taking on more responsibility. This responsibility can feel all consuming. It’s not uncommon for a mom to feel as if she’s lost her freedom. However, keeping this feeling could be dangerous. What does a person do once they’ve felt like they lost their identity? They give up. A mom who felt she lost her freedom will give up on trying to win it back. When, in fact, she has never lost it.
These five reasons on why moms lose their identities might seem minor or major to you and your situation. But nonetheless, they are important. Losing your identity can lead to an unhappy life. A life you do not deserve.
Take a moment. Do any of the five reasons relate to you? If so, what can you do to reclaim them? What can you do to reclaim your identity? Let me know your answers to these questions in the comments!