Feeling Like a Burden to Others

I was just talking with someone over the weekend, and it sparked something inside me. She was talking about a situation going on in her life and she felt she had no one to talk to. Although, she has some great friends. Can you relate? She felt like if she tried to talk to someone, she would burden them with her issues when they have their own to deal with. Do you go through this too? Do you want to reach out but feel like you’re being a Negative Nancy, so you just don’t?

Feeling like you’re a burden to others just puts so much added pressure on yourself that you truly do not need it. How do you know the other person has bigger issues than you? How do you know how they are going to feel about you talking or confiding in them about something that is bothering you? You are projecting your own fear onto them and not even allowing them to give their side….to be able to talk to you….to be able to help you. You’re just manifesting this all in your head and talking yourself out of it, as you don’t want to truly deal with the issue.

Talking about what’s bothering you can be a huge step for people, especially those that don’t speak up very well. Or maybe you have been brought up to not talk about feelings. Talking about a problem or issue you have can feel like you’re burdening someone, but in reality, it helps you by getting it out in the universe, and it helps the other person to understand you better. Possibly you’re being closed off to someone, and they do not understand why, well opening up to them and talking about the issue will help them not only understand but also potentially help you to resolve the issue.

One thing I want to point out, talking about an issue or difficulty does NOT make you a weak person. In today’s society, we are scolded when talking about our feelings or issues like we are a cry-baby or soft/weak person. You are NOT! Actually, facing your issues and talking about them to gain insight on how to resolve the issues or concerns is an act of strength. It is better than just letting it go and hoping for the best while keeping it all inside. By doing this, eventually you will not be able to take it anymore, and you will either blow up at someone over something tedious or you will shut down completely.

Now, if you’re in a situation that you really do not have many people to talk to and maybe the issues are because of them. Find someone, even if it’s a therapist (you can even have appointments online or over the phone) or a coach, to help you process what you’re going through and help you to move forward. You need an outlet. You need to talk about it to decipher what to do and how to handle it. If you’re still not comfortable with this, then go to the store and buy a Journal!

Journaling can be a big sigh of relief for those that keep themselves closed off and don’t really want to talk about it. If you feel this way, then put into the journal all that you’re going through, all your emotions, however raw they may be. Write it all down. Creating a Mental Journal can help you through some tough times. It helps you to get out the emotions, but to also read it back and see where you can make a change to better yourself. There are even online journals you can access, and they are password protected, so only you can open them.

Here are some ways to go about journaling for your mental health:

—Try to express your thoughts and emotions (all of them)

—Write judgment-free and avoid censoring (throw spelling and punctuation out the window at this point)

—Write in a stream of consciousness (meaning, be in the present)

—Feel your thoughts by releasing negative emotions (just let it go—yes, I saw Frozen)

—Document symptoms you experienced and felt (consider both physical and emotional symptoms such as anger, anxiety, or numbness)

—Track your mood (with a scale of 1-5 or descriptions such as happy and sad)

—Read and reflect on your entry after you finished writing to process thoughts and emotions

—Separate yourself from your thoughts and evaluate from an external view (gain a different perspective over reading what you just wrote)

Journaling can bring a whole different light to an issue or emotion you’re going through. Once on paper or on the screen, and you actually read it, you will start to see what you can do, how you can do it and what you should be doing next. Sometimes journaling about a loved one can be good too, as you can show them your journal page. Have them read it so you can discuss it. This way if your fear is talking about it first this takes that part away, and you can talk about the ways to resolve it instead.

If you’re journaling and cannot think of how to get started, here are some great journal prompts you can utilize at any time:

—Right now, I feel strong emotions of…

—Today made me smile because…

—I feel anxious…

—To change the outcome, I can…

—Worrying prevented me from…

—A friend supported me by…

—I am afraid of…

—A more likely outcome for my fear is…

—I am grateful for…

—I can let go of things I cannot control…

—I am grateful for ….in my life