Everyone “claims” to have friends, but not everyone knows the role of a friend. Heck, most people don’t even love + respect themselves, so how can they love + respect someone else? Then, you have others who are only friends out of obligation because they have known each other for an extended period of time. Besides, Drake did say “no new friends”, didn’t he? So if we are following the rules of popular culture, they should have to stick with what they know. Well, in this case, who you know, right? All that is a bunch of bologna! Stay with me here, as I describe what true friendship should look like. Shaking My Head! Lord, please help us!!
Let’s first start with the actual definition of friendship. According to Google, friendship is “the emotions or conduct of friends”. Hmmm, that does not tell me much of anything. Let’s dig deeper + get the definition of the word “friend”.
Google gave me two different versions:
1). Noun. A person whom one knows + with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.
2). Verb. Add to a list of contacts associated with a social networking site.
Based on the first Google definition, it is a MUTUAL thing, meaning both parties are on the same page. That is imperative in a friendship. Additionally, a friend needs to have your back. They need to be your cheerleader. Someone who keeps you accountable when you are slacking. A friend is basically an extension of yourself. It is very important that you make sure your friends reflect you + where you are going in life. Ultimately, you become a product of your friendships. If you hang around toxic people, you will eventually turn toxic yourself. It’s inevitable. I promise you. As I mentioned in this week’s video, you have to qualify + re-qualify your squad often. Iron sharpens iron, so make sure your crew is sharpening you, + not making you dull. That is the type of friend I am. I am tremendously supportive. When something positive happens to my friends, I am probably more excited than they are! I just make sure that the people around me are growing + becoming the best version of themselves possible; at all times. You need to be the type of friend that you require. That goes back to the Google definition number one; friendship being a mutual understanding. Understand, that friendship goes deeper than just adding them on social media. Oh! And one more thing, PLEASE do not remain in a friendship simply based on the length of time you have known someone. I have met people who are better friends than people I have known my entire life. Time does not equal loyalty. Never have + never will. Besides, familiarity is not always healthy. Growth does not happen when you are comfortable. It happens outside of your comfort zone. Now, I am not saying you cannot be friends with your childhood bestie, but just make sure he/she is on the same mental level as you are. Also, be open to new friends. I love Drake, but that “no new friends” thing threw me off. I think what he is saying is you have to have people around you whom you TRULY trust. Especially, on the path to success. I get it, but he could of said it better! Haha!
As you can see, friendship is nothing to play with. I had to find out the hard way. I was an unconditional friend to tons of conditional people. Never again, but I lived + I learned. I avoid making that same mistake by constantly re-qualifying my squad. Everyone cannot be with you in every season of your life. Understand as life changes, so does your team. Sometimes, you have to let some people go. Honestly, there is nothing wrong with that. Just pray for the strength + courage to do it. I know it isn’t easy, but sometimes it’s necessary. Until next time, love yourself. Love God first. Friendships are like relationships, don’t settle!
Written By: NeNe
Connect with her on social media @NeNeTheCreative